One of the most heated topics (aside from religion) is the abortion debate.  People who are normally quiet, perhaps even soft-spoken, can sometimes find their faces flushed, temperatures rising if they weigh in on this subject.  Most people who have settled in one camp or another are pretty passionate about it.

This makes me feel that my own personal position on the matter is a rare one.  It might not be – there could be hundreds of us who feel this way, but we’re just drowned out by the larger crowds.  I posted a link on my Facebook about abortion statistics in Ontario.  It’s certainly a controversial topic and one of my friends asked a question and stated her feelings about abortions in general.  It spiralled.

I wanted to be able to explain my position more in depth without writing a novel on Facebook.  So, not to single my friends out, but because I have nothing to hide about my opinions on abortion, I’m writing this perhaps controversial post.

I have found, whether you agree or not, there are actually [at least] three camps on the abortion issue (not including the neutral camp of people who haven’t made up their minds).

  1. There are the pro-lifers, who obviously believe that all life is sacred and valued, right from the moment of conception, with a few mixed variations on the opinion of when life actually starts.  I don’t know the stats on this, but it does seem to me that the majority of pro-lifers are religious, but maybe the religious ones are just louder or more prominent, I don’t know.
  2. There are the pro-choicers, who believe that the choice to carry a baby to full term remains solely with the woman and no one should force her to carry a baby she doesn’t want.  Most pro-lifers believe that the majority of the people in the pro-choice camp are staunch feminists.  I don’t believe that to be the case, because I know of more than a few Christians who are personally pro-life, but would never force their choice on someone else and so define themselves as pro-choice.
  3. There are the pro-abortionists, who are not only pro-choice when it comes to this topic, but actually try to sell abortions as a birth-control method or otherwise socially acceptable practice.  They don’t just leave it at “it’s a woman’s choice”, they actively try to convince women to abort.

Some of the pro-abortionists fit into the pro-choice camp, but none of them fit into the pro-life camp.

My beef with abortions?  I have a few pretty serious issues:

  • Lack of Informed Consent: Women in Canada are more often than not left in the dark about the potential side effects and risks of an abortion.  Almost every other medical procedure I can think of, the doctor is required to obtain your informed consent.  Most women are not told up front about the risks and side effects.
  • Full-Term Abortions: Abortions are completely legal in Canada, right up until the full term (that’s approximately 40 weeks, people.  Forty weeks of carrying a baby around and you can still decide to abort the pregnancy).
  • One-Sided Women’s Rights: The right of a woman to choose to abort her baby is protected like it was an order received from On High (which, it wasn’t, by the way), yet women who choose to keep their babies have no legal rights.
  • “It’s the ONLY Option”: I find there are some who like to promote it as the “only” option in some cases, when that’s simply not true.  There are Crisis Pregnancy Centres, and many of them do a good job of counselling for the woman’s sake, not just the baby’s (though there are bad apples in every bunch).

I straddle the line between pro-life and pro-choice, the line that is pro-woman I would never in my right mind abort a child that I carried – no matter the circumstances surrounding the conception of said child.  (Please note, I am not including “abortions” that are done for medical safety where carrying a child to full term would very likely result in the death of the mother and child.  If such a circumstance were to arise, I would only decide after much prayer, fasting and consultation with family and medical advisers.)

However, my mother ran a desktop publishing business from home and one of her long-standing clients and now our family friend, was and is an executive director for an organization that runs a crisis pregnancy centre, post-abortion counselling services, and a safe house for women.  I have had many conversations with this friend over the years, and even typed a thesis for a Masters program this friend was enrolled in about some work that had been done at the clinic.

I understand that many women, usually young women, who have abortions do so because they are afraid – afraid of the consequences if their parents find out; afraid of the consequences if their abusive husbands/boyfriends discover the pregnancy; afraid of the social stigma of having a baby outside of marriage; afraid because they were sexually assaulted and didn’t ask to be abused or end up pregnant as a result.  Oh, there are so many fears that lead to this decision. 

There are even some women who were simply told that there are no consequences to having an abortion.  A testimony I typed up for the thesis described one woman who had been told that abortion was a safe method of birth control, even.  Twelve abortions later, she was almost paralysed with guilt and grief over what she had done (she came to Jesus, by the way.  It took 12 abortions, but she found Jesus).

Some women who have been so misinformed discover later in life that they are no longer able to have a baby.  They suffer miscarriages, infertility.  Others develop cancerStill others discover that the procedure was not completed and they suffer for months afterwards.

In my stance on abortion, I believe that when we stop considering and caring for the woman who has to make the choice – especially after that decision is made – we have lost far more than just the baby.

_______________________

If you or someone you know are in what is considered a crisis pregnancy situation (teenage pregnancy, abusive relationship, fixed income, or otherwise) there is help available.  And that help will not necessarily insist you keep the baby, but will counsel you as to what exactly are the options that are available to you and step you through the process.  You don’t have to do this [carry a baby to term, or abort your pregnancy] alone.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=546936140 C Brandi Wilson

    I support many of your views on this topic. If it hadn’t been for Judy, I might not have had my baby. I have much to be thankful for.

    Not every person has the ability to find the information that you are alluding to in your post. Not every community is going to have the same wealth of centres for women to take advantage of. I feel that is the problem – is that the alternatives are not made known to those women who are facing this difficult decision.

    My biggest objection to the post yesterday was the author’s reference to the abortion rates being a “life without consequences”. That really bothered me because I don’t fully believe that each one of those statistics wandered into the office drinking lattes thinking that this was another day at the spa. It really bothered me because when I got pregnant, both my parents – my biological ones and my step-parents – were upset. I felt like a blight. I felt like a failure.

    I can not imagine other women in my position faced with those options and feeling what I felt. I remember the conversation I had with Judy – where we were, and every single word she said to me – and that FOREVER changed my life. I should be so lucky to have someone like that who was able to put on my heart what I needed.

    Abortion is not taken lightly, and I am thoroughly upset with any person that claims that it is a simple procedure and a simple decision, and that is what got me upset. If I had to counsel anyone that was considering that procedure, I too, would do a lot of praying and a lot of thinking, and a lot of questioning to that person to see how THEY felt.

    I believe in adoption as well, and know quite a few people that have chosen that route. I just detest that some media outlets choose to portray this topic and those who use this method as people that are just laissez faire about their decision, when in reality, it couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s what gotten me hot and bothered, and yes, I was so upset yesterday that I couldn’t help but cry over it.

    But anyway, thanks for posting this post. I appreciate the links to the other sites, and I totally believe that this topic will be a lightning rod for controversy well into the future.

    • http://www.gatebeautiful.ca bekka

      I can appreciate that the journalism from the link I posted on Facebook was anything but unbiased. I guess I’m just getting used to biases in journalism lately, and that’s not really a good thing. [Side note: come on journalists! When did it become "cool" to report like Americans tend to do with scare-tactics and half-researched "truths" and the like?]

      As far as the ability to find the information I have found, it’s there. Even here in the remote Peace Region, there is a gigantic billboard on the highway to Alberta with a Toll-Free number to call a Crisis Pregnancy hotline. So while there are no clinics within 100kms, I know of a few toll-free numbers. And I know that there are people who will help someone get somewhere out of town if they need to. There’s a safe house in our small community of 4000 (just counting the permanent residents). I’m sure the people running that safe house (and I know them personally) have other resources as well as the ones I’m aware of.

      My whole point to posting this was to illustrate that no one has to make this decision alone. While there may be guilt and shame associated with a teen pregnancy, or fear associated with pregnancy in a violent relationship, there is still hope that someone will listen.

      There ARE resources available, even if someone isn’t capable of finding them out themselves. All the more reason to not keep quiet when we’re afraid – if we talk to the right people (in your case, Brandi, it was Judy) we find out what our options really look like.

      Thus, I really wanted to stress that my position is really as pro-woman as I can get while being a follower of Christ.

      Many women make the decision to abort for the wrong reasons (misinformation, fear, peer pressure even). If someone makes a poor decision, however, that doesn’t mean we should stop loving them. Obviously, you already get that, Brandi, and my comments here are mostly for the sake of someone who might not have the same background information about me as you do.

  • http://moonchild11.wordpress.com/ Sarah Moon

    This is wonderful. I really appreciate your perspective.

    “I believe that when we stop considering and caring for the woman who has to make the choice – especially after that decision is made – we have lost far more than just the baby.” –yes!

    • http://www.gatebeautiful.ca bekka

      Thank you, Sarah! It means a lot to me that you appreciate this. I’ve found your views to be pretty inspiring and down-to-earth in regards to feminism and Christianity, so I really am happy to hear you weigh in so positively.

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